dude i'm inner monologue high
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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