Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We had to coat check the pizza.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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