my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
