he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
