I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
