Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
