Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
