I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
