her vagine was all disorganized.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
