Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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