Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
