Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
pop tarts are not kleenex
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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