Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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