i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
