Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
