she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize