i barfeds in our rink
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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