What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
