We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
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they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
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Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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