Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
