i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
