Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
