Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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