my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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