yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
