So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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