I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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