Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize