True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
