hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize