Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
