I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You did what with his pubic hair?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
