I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
