Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
