im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
