I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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