I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
