I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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