I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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