worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
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you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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