glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
