Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
