how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
