and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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