Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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