So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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