I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
