How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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