How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
