What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i barfeds in our rink
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize