i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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