Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
