"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
worst night to have a conscience
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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