Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
