I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
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How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
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It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.