I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"