can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.