Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex