My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
