Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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