so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
home. puking in laundry basket.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
