I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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