i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
