I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dicks are not precious.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
