I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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