the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
