My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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