I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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