no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Vodka?
Forever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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