If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
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