they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
