Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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