After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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