feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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